A Life-Changing Question

By Willy Han (HFRC Life Coach)

The idea that a powerful question can change a person’s life sounds like fiction and hard to believe.  Is this even possible?  What makes a question powerful and life-changing?  What does it take to come up with powerful questions?

For those familiar with Apple Computer’s rise from a garage startup in late 1970s to a 21^st Century tech giant, they also know the story of the simple and yet powerful question Steve Jobs used to convince John Sculley to join Apple as its CEO in 1983.  Jobs’ question to Sculley, who was CEO of Pepsi-Cola at the time, not only changed Sculley’s life but also ours.  Jobs asked this: “Do you want to spend the rest of your life selling sugared water, or do you want to change the world?”  So yes, it is possible to ask questions that change the life of a person, as well as many others, as this story powerfully demonstrates.

As for what makes a question powerful and life-changing?  It comes down to evoking awareness.  In the story above, Jobs helped Sculley to realize a more noble cause to pursue than making money by selling sugared water, and that is, to change the world (for the better).

Of course, it is not every day that we come up with life-changing questions, or else this world would be a much better place than it is now.  We can however get there by active listening while walking alongside another person in this life journey we are called to.  It takes a lot of practice, but more importantly, we need a transformed heart.  Without either, our questions will just be ordinary and sadly, self-serving.

Yours truly has experienced a few extraordinary times where my questions turn out to be life changing.  The one that comes to mind happened a few years ago when I was coaching a young man pursuing his masters in computer science.  His thesis was submitted and approved by the thesis committee and was preparing for the final interview with the faculty members.  Up until then, I had been coaching him for about a year.

During our phone call, I asked him how his preparation was coming long.  He mentioned he had about 20 some PowerPoint slides to present.  I commented that half an hour didn’t sound like long enough to go over all the slides he had prepared.  I then asked him this, “What do you suppose the professors would want to know?”

He thought hard for a minute or two, and said, “I think they would want to know what I have learned during the past two years, what challenges I had faced, and how I dealt with those challenges.” I said, “Exactly!”

As it turned out, he passed the interview with flying colors.  His advisor told him afterward that the interview was one of the best he ever had in his many years on the thesis committee.  Needless to say, the young man went on to graduate and started a successful career and a happy family.

Now what makes this story even more personal and rewarding is the text message I received from him recently, after losing touch for a few year.  In it, he says, “I was thinking of you tonight…Thanks for your coaching all those years ago.  I still value it to this day.”