毛蟲變蝴蝶 – 生命的蜕變

角聲護家中心2015 “原生家庭”成長小組

你為什麼是你？回顧你的原生家庭（出生和成長的家庭），家庭的傳統、習慣、父母的性格，教養方法、你在家庭中的角色，與家人的互動方式等等，都潛移默化在你身上，對日後的人際關係有著深遠的影響。從原生家庭的學習中，會發現它對我們的影響有正面，也有負面的；正面的，傳承下去；負面的，去正視，去改變。

以下是學員們參加後的自我開啟：

• 母親是一家之主，大小事都掌控，造成我個性強悍，對先生不尊重，夫妻感情不和。從今起，我要努力改變自己，希望能挽回婚姻。
• 我上有兩個姐姐，下有一個父母期待很久的弟弟，家中被忽視，沒有安全感，婚後把先生抓得很緊，不知如何去給愛，只一味的向他索取愛。
• 母親是完美主義者，無形中我對身邊的人要求也高，使我和先生、子女的關係緊張。為了家庭幸福，我決定要慢慢改過。
• 原生家庭的傷害是我不可告人的秘密。經過小組分享及學習，我能重新面對過去，勇敢地走出黑暗，向曾幫助我的人感恩。現在，我不但有喜樂，也成為別人的祝福。
• 我是父母的掌上明珠，什麼事都為我預備好。因此缺乏獨立思考能力，曾做了許多錯誤的人生選擇。
• 婚姻失敗是我一生的痛。發現父母離婚對我影響太大了。責怪他們於事無補，我能改變自己，讓我的兒女不要重蹈覆辙。
• 我有父母熱情、好客、不重視錢財、愛面子的個性。
• 父母對我的期望很高，成績不好就大聲責罵。我發現對孩子我也是一樣。
• 先生成長在一個父親外遇的家庭，沒有得到足夠的愛，也不知如何去愛孩子，上了原生家庭的課，他願意試著和父親和好，也學習去愛孩子。
• 兒時父母常吵架，使我很害怕。婚後不知如何與先生溝通，只能逃避。如今，我來學習並應用在日常生活中。

一隻毛蟲必須經過多次蛻皮、成蟲、結蛹，最後破蛹而出，才能變成美麗的蝴蝶。有人說：“如何才能變成一隻蝴蝶呢？你必須渴望會飛到一個地步，願意放棄做一隻毛蟲。”改變不是件容易的事，但為了自己、家人、還有下一代。。。的幸福，我們必須勇敢地踏出第一步，參加護家的成長，你會發現改變永不嫌遲。讓我們互相鼓勵，一起成長！

Caterpillar becomes a butterfly – the evolution of life     HFRC 2015 “family of origin” Growth group

Why you are you? Review your family of origin (born and raised in the family), family traditions, habits, parental personality, parenting methods, your role in the family, and family interaction, etc., are subtle in your body and have a profound impact on your future relationships. From the original family of the study, we will find that it has a positive, but also a negative impact; we handed down the positive ones; and to change the negative ones.

The following is a self-reflection after classes:

• Mother is the head of our family, she controls everything. I followed her footsteps and became like her. I don’t respect my husband, therefore, our relationship is bad. From now on, I want to change myself and hoping to save the marriage.

• I have two older sisters and my brother came after me. Because my parents love him so much, I was neglected and lack of security. I tried to control my husband by always ask but not giving him love.

• Mother is a perfectionist, I have the same personality like her, have very high expectations on people around me. Therefore, there is always tension in my family. In order to have a happy family, I decided to change.

• Pain from my Family of Origin was my hidden secret. After group sharing and learning, I can face the past bravely and came out of the darkness and to be grateful to people who have helped me. Now, I am a joyful and also become a blessing to others.

• I am a daughter of parents who always provide everything for me. Therefore, I was lack of independent thinking and have made many wrong decisions. • Divorce is a great pain of my life. Realized that parents’ divorce affect me deeply. It doesn’t help to blame them. I can change myself, so my children do not repeat it.

• I have the personalities from my parents – hospitality, don’t care about money and too proud of ourselves.

• Parents had high expectations of me, they got mad at my poor grades. I found that I did the same things to my childs.

• My husband grew up in a family that his father has affair, so, he does not know how to love his children. After attended the growth group, he is willing to make up with his father also learn how to love his children.

• In my childhood, my parents often quarrel, so I was scared. I do not know how to communicate with my husband, always try to escape. Today, I have learned what to do and apply it in my daily lives. A caterpillar must molt several times and finally broke out to become a beautiful butterfly. Someone said: “? How can it turn into a butterfly will fly you must desire a point where willing to give up a caterpillar.” Change is not an easy thing, but it’s for the benefits of us, our families, as well as the next generation. We must bravely take the first step, to participate in the growth group of HFRC. It’s never too late to change. Let us encourage each other and grow together!